It's Ok To Start Again-AGAIN

Over a year ago I wrote about starting over (here). I don’t know how many times I’ll be starting over but I don't believe failure is the result of attempting something and not succeeding. Instead, I think that failure is giving up. While I often encourage friends and family with this philosophy, it is hard to implement this in my own life. Maybe it is the result of perfectionism, imposter syndrome, anxiety.

I've attempted many things, begun many things that I never followed through. It wasn't because I was lazy. It was more from a feeling that I was not qualified enough, not competent enough. And I felt bad. How many ideas can Angeline have? 

But that's not the point right? 

It doesn't matter how many ideas and thoughts; it doesn't matter how many times I have tried. And it doesn't matter how many times I have started and psyched myself out. What matters is that I keep trying, even if it means restarting from Zero. No, I don't think this is ideal, but it is certainly better than doing nothing. Oh, it's certainly better than stopping. 

It's also important to have people who can support you, your cheerleaders. People who can ask you if what you're doing makes sense because they know you well enough to ask these questions. You trust them to ask a question and allow yourself to reflect on the question without being discouraged by it. Those who will build you up and not tear you down, even, when your dreams seem ridiculous. The ones who can hold you accountable and who can encourage you to achieve your dreams.

Today, on my birthday, I pen this blog for myself much as I do for whoever reads this. I have another chance to start again.

Dear one, it is okay to start over. It is okay to look at things and make an about-turn. It is okay to start the same thing over again. And yes, it is okay to begin something new. Yes, the AIM is to begin and continue going forward, but there is no shame in starting again. 

Sometimes the most important thing is not the destination but the journey. 

What will you start again?

-Angeline